People go about explaining relationships in very odd ways at times. For example, my mother proceeded to explain boys and girls by the use of birds, specifically Blue Jays. Oh dear. But I love my mom, and so I will carry on her tradition of weird relationship analogies. Which means, you can go ahead and add this discussion to your list of “odd” relationship conversations. Here we go…
Boys are like candy. See? Odd. But let me explain.
As a kid, my favorite part of Halloween involved slinging open my front door after a long journey of collecting candy, plopping on the floor, picking out my favorite candies (usually Twix and Sweet Tarts), and chowing down without taking a breath—or so it seemed. At first, the flavor of the candy seemed to melt in my mouth, warming my heart with contentment. It only took about 10 minutes, however, of eating straight candy, for me to become sick.
This sick feeling sucked all the joy out of eating the candy until I reached a point where I couldn’t even think of taking another bite or looking at another piece. The candy lost its flavor, lost its appeal, and quick. Unfortunately, I would forget this feeling, and continue in this habitual pattern each year at Halloween.
Too many girls treat boys, and relationships, like candy. We are initially so excited with the idea of having a boy friend, with the idea of meeting “the one”, that we try enjoying all of the “flavor” at once.
It sometimes only takes a few weeks or even days to say the big “I love you”, to ditch our friends, families, and personal hobbies to spend every spare moment with him, to even trade in our special alone time with our God, for time with him. Unfortunately, it also only takes a few weeks, days, or even hours, for us to begin giving our selves physically to him. Maybe not sex, but the smaller things at first, which is always where it starts.
We become so set on enjoying all of the flavor at once. But like candy, it doesn’t take long for the relationship, and for the boy, to lose their flavor, their appeal. We become so tired and annoyed with the very person that so quickly we became infatuated with.
So, like candy, we “shove him aside.” Looking for a good excuse to drop him quick and run without looking back. And most likely, just like the candy, we will continue in this pattern the next time a boy comes along.
Do you see the problem? This entire process is founded on the word “ME!” Instead of “how can I serve?”, it begins by “how can I be served?”
What if we dated like we knew Jesus was watching? Would we dwell on how the boy would serve us, or would we bend over backwards to serve him in every way we could? Would we be so quick to ditch him? Would we jump into tempting him physically? Would we even want to ever tempt him physically before we married him?
We are told from God that WE are the body of Christ (Colssians 1:18). We are to treat each other as we would treat Christ. And that is true for how we approach relationships as well. We must view boys as representations of Christ Himself.
So, before you even think about pursuing another relationship, or before you go on that next date, examine your typical pattern with boys up to this point. Think through your actions, control your emotions, keep everything in perspective, and SLOW DOWN! Change your pattern.
Remember, boys AREN’T candy. They are Christ’s.