You’re fighting off hordes of zombies, and finding out you’re pretty handy with a crowbar, when you realize how close you are to the edge of…a skyscraper? How did you get up here? Whoa, there goes your footing and you’re falling, falling, falling, until you finally land in the strong, warm arms of someone. You look up into his face and see…your dream man.
When you wake up after a dream like this, you might be wishing it could go on. So maybe it does…during math class when your teacher’s explaining something you already get, or on the bus ride home, or while you’re waiting for worship services to start. Your dream man might have the face of someone you already know, who makes your knees turn to butter every time he passes you in the hall, or maybe he looks just like your favorite young male celebrity. Whatever he looks like, he’s the Prince Charming to your Cinderella, the Romeo to your Juliet, the Troy to your Gabriella. On the silver screen of your life, you are the star. You probably haven’t figured out yet who your leading man is, but that doesn’t mean you don’t occasionally imagine what it will be like meeting and falling love with him.
So in between now and when your knight in shining armor comes along, is it okay to daydream about him, with the face of your celebrity crush of the day?
Guard your heart
Images of yourself on the arm of your favorite male celeb are a natural reaction to seeing a man who has traits that you admire, and will probably seek out in your future husband. But you have to be careful that these brief flights of fancy don’t develop into lust, or sinful desire. Jesus said in Matthew 5:28 that to lust is to commit adultery, or sex outside of marriage, in your heart. In other words, when you want a guy in a way that only a wife is allowed to have him, that’s lust, and it can quickly lead to sin (James 1:15).
Reality versus Fantasy
But what if your fantasies aren’t about sinful acts? Is it okay to enjoy PG-rated fantasies about romance and falling love? Although you mind isn’t preparing your body to sin, as lustful thoughts do, you are instead preparing yourself for disappointment. Hollywood’s leading men and music’s biggest names have something that your future husband doesn’t have: writers and producers. On the screen, the sets, costumes, scripts, even make-up all work together to make this man irresistable to the audience. Let’s face it: the famous guy of your dreams is a production, not a real person.
And thinking about him won’t bring him any closer, and it certainly won’t help you be a better Christian. While innocent thoughts of falling in love may not be sinful, they are certainly not productive, or fruit-bearing. In the parable of the sower, Jesus said that the seeds that fell among the thorns were unable to bear fruit because they were choked by the cares of the world and its desires (Mark 4:18). You see, caring about your grades or extracurriculars isn’t sinful, and neither is imagining taking Taylor Lautner to prom. But getting caught up in these cares and desires can make you an unfruitful Christian. They can get in the way of your helping others and spreading the Gospel.
File all the things you admire about Taylor, Ian Kinsler, and the cute guy in your math class in the “traits to look for in my future husband” folder. Appreciate the traits and enjoy the feelings, but don’t dwell on them. When you do meet your future husband, what you’ll have will be better than the dream: it will be real.